And I really need a job. Eric said yesterday that I was spending too much time playing computer games. Eric, who is signed up for a five-hour computer game raid on Saturday. Also I don't cook anymore and I have not vacuumed for a month.
And there is a dpn (double-pointed needle) lying to the left of my keyboard because I was knitting the heel of a sock (which only requires 2 of the 5 dpns) last night while Eric tried to figure out what's wrong with my computer. It's still shutting down, not so randomly as it was. We've ordered a new motherboard and a new CPU fan (because I need one anyway) to see if that will fix the problem. If it doesn't, I will be getting a library card. We went to the library the other day. It was lovely. We wanted to see if it would be possible to hold a wedding there, and we concluded it might but they probably wouldn't let us have food in there for the reception, so it wouldn't be worth it.
Barnes & Noble is the only bookstore chain around here that uses real paper applications instead of online personality tests. Maybe I have a chance. I'll run the application out today if I have the energy or tomorrow while I return the case fan we bought from Best Buy to see if that was the problem (I don't know; we never tried it).
And my cable connection is extremely flaky, which is why I'm saving this post and posting it later. Then I'll call the cable company, today if I have the energy, or tomorrow if I don't because Eric can't tolerate being over at my apartment if there isn't a working Internet connection. He doesn't have to be using it; it just has to be available.
I'm sick of this apartment and tired of being unemployed and worried that not having a job will ruin some of our plans. And still waiting to see why Toledo is supposed to be a nice place to live. I gave up a nice house and income for the chance to be happy here. I still can be, but I don't have enough reason yet. I don't know if I would feel like this if I weren't still relying on my own self to support me, but I'm feeling blah and discouraged and listless. It's a pain in the ass. I decided to focus on one thing a day to do. Today's is job applications. Tomorrow's is vacuuming. We'll see how it goes. Dad said yesterday that at least I made the choice to be where I am, which was supposed to be a comfort. I guess it is, a little. I still don't regret giving up my nice house and income; I just want something to replace them and I don't yet. So yuck. If someone--anyone--calls up and offers me a job, even as a typist or an Eddie Bauer salesperson (they have paper applications too), I'll feel better, I know. So I'm doing my one thing today and maybe it'll happen.