Fear

So since Shoelace is rolling nicely (for now), I decided I would appoint Mondays and Thursdays as Work on Nonfiction days. I decided this last Thursday but didn't put it into action--I had what I thought was a genuine reason but I don't remember what it was. Today, then, was to be my first nonfiction day. As the hour of nine o'clock--writing time--approached, I felt myself get actually nervous. At about ten to nine Eric pulled me into some random Internet silliness, and I let myself be pulled in, even though I knew it would take a while (end time, ten fifteen), because I didn't want to work on writing today. And not because I don't want to write; because I'm nervous about working on nonfiction. Why is this? I don't know exactly, except maybe that I'm starting from scratch in this--that and timidly venturing on a path that I dream about but have never actually done anything about. I don't know why I'm afraid to start, rather than eager. I'm also not sure whether to try again tomorrow and make myself buckle down, or wait until Thursday to see if I can figure this out.