Wednesday, March 28, 2007

That which binds

I've been sewing wedding invitations. No, it's nothing as fancy or crafty as that; but they look like books, and so to give them a real "binding," I've been sewing the vellum to the linen cardstock. My needle is going to need changing as soon as this done, and I will be giving Caroline a well-deserved oiling...nasty thread-jams aside.

I have not been doing anything creative, other than considering which of my various leftover and stockpiled yarns would be best for this ruffled baby hat. I've been working on wedding stuff mostly, and getting over the cold (the cough is even yet holding on), and talking to Eric about marriage and babies and love. He considers us already married. So do I...sort of...but I wish I didn't, because I think I'm already into that settled, why-isn't-this-any-better stage. I don't feel I have enough time for everything I want to do--admittedly, this is because I want to do a lot. (Also because Eric wants me to get to level 70 in World of Warcraft because then he can play with his other friends.) But I don't feel I'm doing the things that will be most important to me. I'm not sure what they are. But preparing for a wedding to celebrate a marriage that's already, in our hearts, taken place, is not one of them. Doing creative work, of some kind, is...I'm pretty sure. And when these invitations are bound up--and the flowers ordered and the dresses bought and the hair figured out and the ceremony written--I will be able to pursue what it is I want to do and what I really, in my life's heart, need to do.

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