From the Lucas County Probate Court. They're open from 8-4:30, no appointments, possible lengthy wait on Fridays.
For the license, you need picture ID, any divorce decrees or death certificates of past spouses, proof of residency, and $50 in cash. (No checks or credit cards, no appointments. Good grief. I bet even drug dealers take appointments.) No blood test or witnesses needed. Oh, and you can't be drunk or have infectious syphilis. Darn.
For the actual marriage, you can be married the same day. There are ministers who wait on the first floor, like taxis, or you can go to the Toledo Municipal Court between 1:30 and 3 PM for $15, also cash.
Why didn't anyone tell me I could just fork over $65 (plus downtown parking) and be done with it?
(Okay, I already knew that, or approximately. It'll be fun to see everyone next week. But I have this big long list with not nearly enough crossed off of it yet.)