Now that we're up against it, I don't want this wedding anymore. What I want is to ditch the dress with the neckline that my mom cut too low (apparently at my dad's suggestion--I guess they really want grandchildren quickly?), buy a light sundress that doesn't require a bustier, and forget the music and the processional. I want a small group of my closest friends and family gathering around in a pretty spot with trees around, I want them to be comfortable and have drinks and snacks, and I want to say my vows without a lot of fanfare. And right after the vows, I want to get the party started without posing in dozens of pictures.
I can't do that, because Mom's already made the dress, and…well, actually, I think that's the main objection. We paid a deposit for the chairs, but we could abandon it, and my current dream wedding would be more flexible in the event of rain--which the weather channel is still predicting--anyway. There are people coming we don't care as much for as some people who aren't coming, but that's inevitable for any event, I think. The bridesmaids could still wear their nice dresses, and the groomsmen could leave off their vests and just help out with serving food. Except we've got someone from the catering company serving.
Ah, well. It won't happen anyway. Right now Eric is making ice cream and finishing up the programs (I hope), and Mom and Dad are driving around town, buying things. We might not have music for the processional--if I can't think of something I want and that Eric will find acceptable--but there will be a processional and a recessional, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen lining up, and the people staring at my too-exposed chest, and toasts and cake-cutting and traditional silliness, and I think--I think--it's mainly because of the dress my mother made me.