The sky is darkening, and the sound of the Moody Blues is fading. They're playing at the Toledo Zoo, and since we live about half a block away, I got to hear a free partial concert. I spent some time outdoors walking and some weeding (and acknowledging that three cantaloupe plants is probably more than anyone needs, and three slicing cucumber plants certainly is). I'm more depressed than when I went out, which annoys me.
Eric's been off the past couple of weeks, and he's been (a) bored (b) listless because of a lack of a schedule (c) not eating or drinking enough (d) not sleeping well and (e) worrying because of all of the above. Thus he called me today, sounding extraordinarily down. When he's depressed, or highly anxious, he gets in a mood where he's low and self-pitying and won't listen to reason or experience (even his own), and it scares me a bit when he gets like that. It doesn't last, but as he says himself, what if someday it does? And why can't I do anything? I want to be able to do something.
I've been doing well at work these days (I'm not sure simple competence should have me feeling so chipper, but it does) and I suggested that I could start coming home for lunch, at least for the week and a half he's still got off. After that is the honeymoon and after that school starts, at least partially, and he should be fine. Until then, I think I'm either taking longer lunches than usual, or packing lunches for Eric to eat. When he's actually working he does it himself, but part of the problem is that he doesn't think about food until his blood sugar is too low for him to be able to make good decisions. He worries me sometimes. He's a high-maintenance guy.