Thursday, May 26, 2005

Divided

(Hi, Jade!)
(And also Mary since I don't think I actually acknowledged you here in Blogland other than in comments before. Hi!)

Partly due to, or perhaps augmented by, the delightful sudden rediscovery of the two ladies so discreetly mentioned above, I've been feeling divided for the past while. Thirded, to be specific. First, there was elementary school and Quest (hello Jade, Mary, Megan, Alena); then there was college and EEP (hello M, X, Raney, Brian, and a bunch of others); then there was grad school and work (hello Eric, Jen, other Jen, Joe, Russell, Holly). Life goes in stages, I know, but I've been feeling those joins keenly the last few days, when I want to talk to somebody about something from one of the other two thirds of my life-to-date and can't because they don't know what I'm talking about and they haven't shared those experiences. The wide flat ribbons keeping this three-piece suit on me are my family and myself, my thoughts and memories and, a bit, my writing. I've always recorded things. I read when I was thirteen that some people become writers because they're afraid of losing even a little bit of life, and so they squirrel it all away. I'm not sure that's an exact fit but I hate to lose the things I want to remember, that I think are important or funny or whatever. I just deleted the other blog. I saved everything, but it feels wrong all the same.

Oh, and more prosaically: the scarf's too long. I'm going to remove a foot or two of it and make a silk scarf for my wooden dancer doll with the remnants.

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