(Why am I suddenly so chatty?)
I just called to close a credit card because I don't want to worry about having too many open, and the guy seemed most distressed that a customer was going to close her account without redeeming points for gift certificates--or you could earn only 10,000 more to get round-trip airfare--I feel really bad about this--wait! If you stay with us I'll give you 3,000 more!--
After several rounds of this I stopped saying, "No thank you," and started saying, "Please close my account." Finally, after that last bit about the extra points, I said, "This is as bad as talking to AOL." I think that offended him; he said, "The account is closed, you can cut up your card now, but there's no way to get those points back. I feel really bad about this." Christ. I suppose it wouldn't have been a bad idea to take some of his suggestions, but I was in no mood to be sold anything and I certainly didn't want to have to go through all this rigmarole again.